Married To Your Work

My Really Good Reason for Waiting A Year To Start...

I came up with the idea to write about what it's like running a business with my husband over a year ago. I've researched articles and books on the topic, I've drafted some short and sweet essays of my own (that sit on my desk in a neatly labeled folder), and I've even blocked out a book outline. I've only read a few of the articles to my writing group, but not even mentioned them to  unbiased audiences who don't already know and love me. So here it goes... to the great unknown.

My hesitation came from my fear of being called out as a hypocrite or fake. The constant second guessing and internal berating helped me keep too busy to actually take action or make any progress."What if my business goes under? What if my marriage doesn't last? Then everyone will know. Maybe I should wait until I'm sure it all works out in the end." Yeah, I'll be dead by then.

So this is my big, long, unnecessary disclaimer... I claim no authority in business or in marriage, other than the fact that I'm currently in both.

And with that, I write on insights, tips, my own observations on the inner workings of merging my personal life with my professional one. And we'll see what shows up. I'm a bit freaked by the idea of sharing such intimate aspects of my life. But I would regret not having shared what's true for me, right now, with what's going on from the my view of the world.

You're one in 3.6 Million!

Back in 2006, the Indy Star wrote:

“Copreneurs,” as they’re called, are a rapidly growing segment of business partnerships. The number of husband-wife companies has more than tripled since 1990, topping 3.6 million, according to the U.S. Census. Glenn Muske, co-author of a 2002 study titled “Copreneurs as Family Businesses,” believes the number of copreneur firms is “greatly underestimated.” He said couples are leaving corporate jobs and opening businesses, but for reasons beyond the bottom line.

You know you really suck at that...

Since my husband, Jason, (God bless him for being open to this blog-o-mine) moved in together almost 12 years ago, we've been divvying up household chores based on a couple key criteria:

#1. Which of us give a crap... Sounds funny but true because you know what, we just have different tolerances for household build up.

I can't stand trash in the house, so I take it & the compost bucket out daily. He thinks if the floor is clean, the house is clean. He cooks, I wash dishes. Come on, you have some kind of agreement like this too, right?

Anyway, my point is this, as you're doing the chores of the business like sales outreach, invoicing, book keeping, contracts, inventory, scheduling, travel logistics, negotiations, whatever it is in your business,

            decide who's managing what.

And actually go over your list together... out loud. I was surprised at the stuff he thought he was in charge of. ("Oh honey, no, that's not yours...") It turned out to be a relief to take stuff off of his mind that he thought he was managing because I hadn't actually told him out loud that I would handle.

The point is to eliminate redundant efforts. Trust me, there's plenty to do. Focus your skills and talents to make the most of your time and effort.

If you heard an inner voice say, "Yeah, but... we do everything together (or) we know what the other is thinking..." good luck to ya. Never been there. That's all I'll say on that.

 

#2. The second criteria is who's better at it and enjoys it? Because doing something you suck at and dread is just no way to live.

Me, I LOVE bookkeeping. Most people don't know that about me, but give me a monthly bank statement to reconcile and I'm one happy camper. Invoices? Love'm! Setting up online bill pay and running accounts receivable reports... cha-ching, sign me up! All this stuff is completable and little projects that I can start and finish in one sitting.

Ask me to map out a new product line or strategic business plan, and my whole body tires and gets fidgety.

So get an organizational chart (org chart) if that helps you see all of the hats to wear in a business and start putting your initials here & there & everywhere by the roles you want to be accountable for. Let your partner do the same. Then you say, what about all this other shit left over, where no one put initials near? Ahhh, now you've framed the question that has silently been going on all along. You guys will figure it out; outsource, hire a part timer, whatever. But at least now you're laid claim to the parts that you love. ( And if you don't love them, that's important info too. Something to think about.)

Write it down, or it doesn't exist!

My husband and I agree that all requests that we make from each other in the business be made in writing. (like how I clarified “business”? :) You can imagine where this need came from, right?

“Honey, would you follow up with Michael about the seminar logistics next week?” Although it sounds like a simple and reasonable task, unless it’s written down, the chances are pretty good that I won’t remember to do it. Especially if I’m in the garden, brushing my teeth or somewhere other than my computer.

I may forget he asked and assume he’s still managing that project. Meanwhile, he forgets all about it because he asked me to do it. Eventually, the client calls to ask why he hasn’t received what we promised to send him. That sucks. Everyone looks bad.

So to keep the peace, we put it in writing... and this can be as easy as sending a text message, email or note on my desk.

If you’re thinking of things to do on the road (and not willing to take your life into your hands by driving & texting,) check out Jott.com. It’s a free dictation service that types up your message and emails it to you. You can have it sent via email to you or directly to an email in your list. FYI - I definitely would NOT use this for clients, but for my honey-do stuff it works great.

NO POP QUIZZES

My high school chemistry teacher loved to give pop quizzes. And they always surprised me, and I hated them. I still get stressed out and defensive when someone throw a pop quiz my way.

A pop quiz in a business relationship is any test of information that you don’t have access to right at that moment.

Here are some examples:
On a hike, being asked, “How much money is in the business checking account today?”
While at a restaurant, “Did Megan fax back the signed contract that’s due on Friday?”
Visiting with friends at a coffeeshop, “What did we pay to produce the DVD program?”

You get the point. It’s not fair, it’s not fun, and really, there’s no way to win.

Guessing is worse than not knowing because with guessing, you still need to look up the answer when you get back to your desk, and then you have to explain the difference between your answer and the real answer!

So, we've talked about it and agreed not to throw whammies, but occationally one slips in. Here are a few choice responses:
“I’ll be happy to look that up first thing when I’m back in the office, just email me a reminder.”
“I don’t know. Leave a note on my desk, and I’ll tell you then.”
“What’s the molecular weight of Hydrogen?”

Doing it anyway

Here's my first insight: if you say to yourself, "Oh, I could never work with my husband." (or some other more colorful version like, "I'd rather die...") then trust that instinct! Do not let me or any other well-intended person convince you this is a good idea.

In fact, all of the the articles I've found so far mention the 50% divorce rate as a significant reason not to open a business together. And with that said, 3 million businesses in 2000 were couple-owned according to the Small Business Administration. That was 8 years ago! Who knows how many couple-owned businesses there are now with the internet and on-line stores being easy enough for me to set up! (fyi- the SBA doesn't how many, exactly there are right now... or I'd have given you a more current number.)

And let's face it, you're going to do it anyway. I did. And I'm glad I did.

So if you hear yourself saying, "Yeah, I'd love to do that!" Keep reading, with eyes wide open.

I'll keep writing tips, how-to's, OMG's, and insights that work for me. My intention is to share what I've learned hoping that will help shorten your learning curve and let you know you're not the only one out there...